COVID-19 executes flu d’état, seizes management of US capital

WASHINGTON — Pandemonium struck the usa as of late because the capital turned overwhelmed in a shock flu d’état led by the so-known as Coup Flu, COVID-19.

The virulent virus, which has unfold correct in the course of the world with breathtaking stride lots of the yr, has been circling the flexibleness elite in Washington for a while. Regardless of an ever rising military of airborne revolutionaries over the ultimate months, many in D.C. remained complacent, ceaselessly refusing to put even primarily probably the most rudimentary defenses.

“The president turned, as , the primary of The USA’s administration to be attacked by the enemy,” stated Dr. Scott Atlas, a member of the Coronavirus Job Pressure. “And whereas we understanding we had repulsed the virus’s assault on the commander-in-chief, the enemy merely turned our flanks and took out our full Pentagon administration by forcing them correct right into a panicked retreat.”

To punctuate his phrases, straight after Atlas spoke these phrases, a message turned broadcast by the chief of the Coup Flu.

“The USA, it’s potential you will effectively presumably be now under the rule of thumb of Supreme Normal Pandemitriov. You are hereby ordered to resign all M95 masks, hand cleaning cleaning soap, and sanitizer to the Progressive Virus Navy.”

“ALL HAIL!” he added.

“Franky, we predict regarding the Job Pressure turned infiltrated by the virus,” admitted Atlas. “In hindsight, we would merely level-headed salvage questioned why Dr. La Fever and Mr. Man Coffman had been so adamant towards the president sporting a cowl.”

An excellent deal of the Nationwide Uncover Authority has each fled or are under doctor’s orders to dwell in hiding. Vice President Mike Pence, as head of the Job Pressure, turned last thought-about trying to dangle the surging virus from coming into the White Residence by nodding grimly at it and warning {that a} vaccine turned forthcoming. 

President Donald Trump, who turned rescued by the plucky efforts of the Secret Supplier, some phlegmy Marines, and a spare drug cocktail, spoke from a hidden bunker someplace in Virginia.

“It is what it’s,” he stated. “Don’t let this Coup Flu dominate your lives. This flu is nowhere finish to as perilous because the smartly-liked-or-backyard flus which seize dangle watch over of minute third world international locations yearly.”

As of press time, about one third of People voiced give a postpone to for the model new regime as they danced throughout the streets whereas burning their “fascist masks.”

Paul J. OLeary and G-Had contributed to this text.

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