Air Drive sensible bomb too intelligent for dumb Navy bomb
NEVADA TEST AND TRAINING RANGE, Nev. — After successful a opponents on the militia’s annual Crimson Flag ship, an Air Drive Minute Diameter Bomb II flip into trustworthy appropriate too lustrous for these Navy tedious bombs, in line with a sea provider Mk 82 normal motive bomb.
Mk 82, callsign “Dumbass,” mentioned the “StormBreaker” bomb incorporates brains that it trustworthy appropriate doesn’t preserve. Dumbass flip into addressing journalists and bomb nerds begin air a bunker at Nellis AFB, whereas wiping down dad-sweat from its loser bomb physique and making use of itsy-bitsy one powder to its tail fuze.
“Be acutely aware on the mountainous mind on that man!” mentioned Dumbass, downing a shot of Militia Particular bourbon. “It nailed these targets with the millimeter wave radar and GPS. We weren’t funded for that. What a shitbag!”
Dumbass persevered, “Oh positive, it went to the Air Drive Bomb Academy and I flip into trustworthy appropriate Bomb Officer Coaching Corps (BOTC) in college. However BOTC is barely appropriate as appropriate!”
When interviewed in its Coral Suite on the Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas, StormBreaker flip into nonchalant.
“It’s trustworthy appropriate smarter Air Drive procurement,” it bombsplained, whereas sipping on a Mannequin Assertion ordered from the resort’s Eyecandy Lounge. “I point out, who buys the boots and ignores the laces?”
Dumbass, sitting within the lobby of a rundown resort begin air of southwest Las Vegas whereas looking forward to a billeting nonavailability remark, mentioned, “Air Drive carried out 138 developmental and operational flights with that bomb, all of which failed. How ‘neat’ flip into that?”
“And I heard its clips trustworthy appropriate by no means labored,” it persevered consuming Frito chips purchased from a merchandising machine. “My clips preserve been taken from leftover WWII inventory and preserve by no means failed!”
At press time, the Navy introduced that StormBreaker, as efficiently because the Air Drive’s huge GBU-60 “Price range Buster,” can be added to its inventory.
“Suited,” mentioned Dumbass, “extra Air Drive bombs coming in and I fetch RIF’d. Wager I’ll replace my resume since I’m probably going to be offered to Turkey. However I heard there’s tons of labor for my form in a terminate by nation. In order that’s appropriate.”